Whiskered and Wild
by Wario the TableMan
Summary: Adrien, not wanting to be late for school, winds up doing exactly the opposite when a rare opportunity to break out of his shell arises.


It was that kind of day again. Yes, today was the day the fabulous and absolutely delicious Cinnamon Bun Adrien Agreste had to be off to school.

School was very French because Adrien was there. He made things beautiful whenever he looked at them, so his hotness brings forth absolutes.

Plagg was sitting in Adrien's hoodie and was bathing in a tasty pool of nacho cheese. He rolled around and sang the French fry theme song backwards because it was a lucky thing to do.

Adrien was not so good at luck, especially when it came to getting chicks to go to prom with him. All the human girls wanted him, but he wanted literal chickens.

Plagg stuck his rear end in Adrien's right ear and squeezed the cheese into his hotbaby canals. "Adrien, it is about time you saved the world," said the mischievous little kwami.

Adrien stuck his nose on the concrete walkway and thought about how much hotter his own booty would be had it been slathered in cheese.

Plagg felt the eerie essence of a land shark approaching. He reached out and grabbed Adrian's coolest-looking toe in order to get his attention.

"BLIMEY!" cried Adrien. "Why on earth did you grab onto my precious tootsie, Plagg?"

"I sense an evil in the air. It appears that one of the Akumas is here to kill every Parisian thing ever!"

"Dang stinkin' toejam!" Adrien wailed as he transformed into the succulent Chat Noir. "BOY HOWDY!" He then used his Spider Man webbing that he stole from Peter Parking to swing on over to the scene of the impending crime.

"What a tush!" screamed all the ladies who noticed that smoocheriffic titan of a captain's quarters grace the area.

Adrien smirked to himself and thought about all the glory his batoot produced when he swung through the city. He landed on the Leaning Tower of Eiffel 65 and planned his next move.

"I like to think about my butt!" screamed Adrien from the top of his lungs. He hoped the sudden increase in noise would attract the Akuma to the area.

His plan worked and soon the Akuma appeared and it was not a pretty sight.

Adrien jumped down to greet his new foe. It was indeed a land shark just as Plagg predicted. Adrien looked at how textbook his cheeks were compared to the land shark's. He gasped when he noticed a secret note wedged in the CRAY-VOSS.

Adrien read the note. "It's from Bowser! _Dear pesky plumbers_ , The Koopalings and I have taken over the Mushroom Kingdom! The princess is now a permanent guest at one of my seven Koopa Hotels. I dare you to find her if you can!"

The Land Shark grinned like a real G, but Adrien hated the Canadian aspect of his maple leaf shirt and shot the Akuma in the nose with his fist. The reason he shot instead of punched is because his fist flew off like Android 16 in Dorky Bowl Zed.

"Oh, my aching tentacles…" moaned the shark as he fell to the ground defeated.

Chat Noir marched up to land shark, careful to make sure his bottom was looking hotter than Kim's.

You see, Kim's butt is stupid and you should only hate it. But don't hate it as much as Chloe because that woman has no heart.

Chat Noir then stepped on the stupid Akuma's nose and broke all the teeth using his trusty spatula.

"That isn't very Youtube friendly, Chat Noir," said the land shark.

"Ha ha!" the golden ball of sunshine said in his utterly charismatic voice. "I believe in love only! Fear me, you vile threat to purity!" Chat Noir then slammed the Akuma in the nose with the spatula and the whole thing exploded.

The Nino ran up in his Christmas sweater that he rightfully deserves and tipped his hat to the one and only Chat Noir. "Hot butt you got there, dude!" said the Nino.

"Omigosh!" cried Chat Noir. He quickly took some salad out of his pocket and force-fed the Nino.

The Nino ate every bit of leafy goodness. He was amazed by how hot the dude's butt was when the sun hit it juuuuust right.

"I'm gonna be a Supahstar warrior!" laughed Chat Noir as he posed heroically.

The Nino arose and looked at his mirror. He was amazed to see his new mustache had already grown to the size of a turkey. "Dude! Now I'm a man!"

"I'm gonna be a star, Nino!" laughed Chat Noir. He pulled out his xylophone and did the one where the lemurs sing in Madagascar.

Nino gasped when he saw Dennis the Fish right behind Chat Noir. Chat Noir turned around and screamed. Dennis punched Chat Noir out of the way and the lovely Cinnamon Bun's cinnamon buns deflated. That meant he was all out of power and would die unless the Nino could save the day!

Dennis marched up to the Nino and ripped off his mustache. "I thought you still had a piece of salad stuck to your face from lunch." He then tossed the dead mustache to the ground.

The Nino wept bitterly. "It was a fraud moustache?"

"Of course it was fake! This is what a real mustache looks like!" Dennis then removed the cloth on his face and showed off how he could grow a thick brown 'stache in a matter of seconds.

"Is he a mermaid, Nino?" asked Chat Noir.

"All right enough gab." Dennis slowly raised his foot to squished the Nino.

Who would win? Who would fall? All that and more in the spectacular new season of Miraculous Ladybug! Simply the best!

Shoutouts to Simply the best BUP


End file.
